how to get free1 publicity in three easy steps:
step one: come to the philadelphia drinking liberally and find me2
step two: give me free stuff.
step three:3 your book/CD/film/art project/whatever will appear in the internationally acclaimed4 highly popular5 blog rubber hose! you just can't buy publicity like that!!!6
anyway, in completely unrelated news, i had the great pleasure of meeting steve coffman tonight and then letting him give me a copy of his book for free. the book is founders v. bush, a collection of quotes from our current president stacked up against quotes from the founders of this nation. i don't want to spoil the ending, but it's basically about the contrast between the two.
i got my copy for free, but you should buy one by going here and clicking on the "order now" button. you can also buy it on amazon or powells.
for people who are broke or can't read, just look around until you see the below book. then steal it:
1-not including the cost of the free thing you give me, plus the cost of whatever you drink while waiting for your big chance to meet the famous upyernoz.7
2-either ask around for upyernoz, pronounced "up-your-nose", or wait the thirty seconds it takes until some guy notices you're new and asks about getting a ride home. that guy is me!
3-this isn't even your step! i do this one for you!!! is that service or what?
4-someone once told me that they knew this guy, who was married to this woman who once got her luggage stolen in some other country. i'm not sure which one, i think it was indonesia. or maybe that was indiana. who cares? anyway, the thief had a cousin who did something or other involving rubber hoses. i can't remember the details. but it was a big deal.
5-among both my readers!
6-unless you literally spend money to buy publicity. actually, that's probably an even better way to do it. but forget i just said that.
7-see note 5. also can footnotes have footnotes?