so you wake up this morning and think, "it's finally here." and, sure enough, all the blogs are blogging and all the wonks are wonking about iowa. iowa iowa iowa.
just like they have for several months. but today is different. today is THE DAY. today is THE CAUCUS. this isn't bloviating about some future event. the future is now. the bloviating is about the present!
except that, man, will the present just get here already? you look at your watch and it's late morning already, and nothing has happened. it sinks in that THE DAY hasn't actually come yet. i mean, while it's the right date, it's still hours from any actual caucusing. they don't get around to doing anything until the evening! evening!!! but i can't wait that long!!!!!! apparently those iowans have jobs. who knew?
noooooooooooooooooooo fair!!!!!! they lied to us! it's caucus day dammit! not caucus night!!!
well, okay, maybe i'm the only one who used the term "caucus day". but if it isn't the day, then why the hell are all those reporters and pundits eating lunch in des moines? i know why, to tell us how stoopid the whole iowa caucus thing is. (but if it's stupid, the joke's on them. they're the ones in des moines, after all) what else do they have to do? they're in des moines hours before the caucus and have nothing but time to kill.
night falls. the sun sets early this time of year. and still there's nothing to see. they should really just call january 4th caucus day. at least then there would be something to report.
