i've written a few posts that are embargoed. they're for later when i finally come clean on this project of ours. i just save the embargoed posts as drafts and calendar them for the end of august or early september.
but i also wonder how much longer before i come clean, or why i'm not already. it's practically august already. i haven't decided how much longer i'll avoid talking mentioning it here, or even what the point is of not talking about it. eventually it's gotta come up. it's come up already, as the embargoed posts and 2 deleted comments can attest. it's certainly on my mind a lot and i'm not sure what the point of not saying anything is anymore.
well, i sort of i do. it's the fear that it will all fall apart. that's still in the cards. it's always been in the cards. (fucking cards!) in fact, it's kinda fallen apart already--a few times even, depending on how you count it. but each time we've managed to get it going again. posting about it (in english) seems like i'm making some kind of official announcement. it almost feels like i'm sticking my neck out, and it could still not happen.
but it's getting close. and my neck really wouldn't be out. i mean, even if something goes wrong, there's no guillotine blade. so what am i afraid of?
