its my last full day here in uzbekistan. in some ways it feels like i've been here forever. in others, i can't believe this trip is almost over.
there's not all that much to see in this city, and what there is i saw two weeks ago when i first arrived. mostly i am trying to buy all the souvenirs i probably could have gotten for less money in khiva, bukhara, or samarkand but i didn't want to carry the extra weight.
this morning i had breakfast with an irish guy who works for the e.u. he's on his way to tajikistan to try to restart an aid project the europeans had funded there. the project was suspended a few years ago when the director and his wife were abducted. the wife was later killed. i told him about my trip to tajikistan and he just shook his head.
the last day of all of my trips is always a strange wistful time for me. it feels like i am already half gone. i wander the streets looking around and knowing that i probably will never see this place again. i've had a fantastic time here, but there are just too many other places i want to visit. i try to enjoy my last totally unplanned day before i return to the structure of my life in the u.s., but just knowing it's my last totally free day makes it feel less free. i know in a few weeks my memory of this place will seem unreal, like a dream. its made worse by the fact that i am alone and no one i know in the u.s. will share any memories of anything that has happened here. that's why i've been keeping a journal and taking so many photos. i am trying to prove that this is really real.
i don't particularly miss the u.s., but i miss people who are there terribly. if they were all with me now, i would not want to go yet. but they are not so i can't wait to get back to them, especially my wife. seeing her in person seems like a dream to me now.
i wonder if i will ever travel like this again. i wonder that at the end of every trip, but so far i have always had another chance.
